Weigh Anchor and Raise the Sails!, Part #9 - A Message for Singles

[Roger Roger]

I'd like you to think about your favorite sport to play or watch; maybe a favorite recreational activity that you enjoy. With any sporting activity there is always some agony related to injury or overuse of a body part. Now consider… what's your guess as to the most common injury for this activity? What's the process like if you had this injury or physical setback? I'm going to use the example of a knee injury for a basketball player in my thoughts. Well:

1. You would need to accept that you're injured and that you need to seek help just getting back to normal functionality.

2. You would look for a healer that had a complete education, was experienced in your injury and knew how to deliver everything that was medically available to treat you.

3. You might need a specific procedure, time to rest and heal up and maybe even some special attention from your family and friends.

4. You will also be changing your lifestyle to adapt to the process and reality of healing from your injury. Most of all you will need to be patient with yourself not to do too much to quickly so that you can completely heal from you injury.

5. You will also to go through some pain in practicing to get your full range of motion and use back. Just getting back to what use to be normal may require some tears and some pain. It will certainly be work and a strain on you emotionally, spiritually and physically. Over time and with hard work you will get back into your new shape and functionality. This doesn't come easy, but requires real commitment and effort.

These first 5 steps are only about getting over the injury and returning to where you were before the injury. What would you do if you wanted to compete at a higher level or adapt into a new sport /activity? You would have to refine your efforts even further, more time, and more commitment!

1. You would reconsider the fuel you give your body. You would change you eating habits.

2. How your body would need more specialized strength and speed training.

3. You would also prepare yourself to be more mentally and spiritually prepared for your
improvement training.

4. You would understand that you need to accept serious lifestyle changes to keep on track with this training.

5. This also may mean that you need to change the places and people you associate with if they do not support your new life style. You have to make a serious commitment to the new lifestyle, the hard work of the process and finding people places and activities that support you well in your efforts.

OK, I think you get the logic here of overcoming injury, getting healed up and then improving your game or level of fitness. It is not a trivial process or one that you can do halfhearted if you want to participate at your full potential. You have to make a full effort, be smart about it and surround yourself with people and environments that are healthy and productive for you and your new healthier life.

This logic and approach parallels and directly applies to becoming a healthy Christ follower and Spirit filled disciple. If you're a single Christian, you are following this same course of action in your life. You have some things to heal from in your past like: loss, divorce, death, betrayal, abandonment, loneliness etc. You are rehabbing your heart and emotions through the grace of Jesus, the word of God and the power of the Holy Spirit in your life in a process that is similar in many ways to our first five bullet points. You need a church, pastor and congregation that are equipped, motivated and led by the Holy Spirit to walk this path of healing and restoration with you. For singles, you are most likely addressing emotional, spiritual and social skills at this phase.

If the church you attend doesn't comprehend this you need to push back a little, get their attention and explain it to them. You should be evaluating your church and spiritual leaders by what they can deliver to you on a personal basis, by the environment they create for you and the level of healthy support they provide. I wouldn't consider celebrity personalities, big $ donors, fancy facilities, occasional large events or a carnival atmosphere at the church as serious criteria. In fact, I would tell you if you consider these things at all you're missing the point of church completely. Most likely, the food they're serving at these carnival type events is only going to speed up your death from diabetes and obesity anyway and is counterproductive to you becoming the person Christ intended.

If the church is not addressing you as a whole person and does not understand the totality of the whole process and how to lead you through it, they are only distracting you from your real goal and delaying you finding that deep joy that comes from a job well done. Instead, you are being led into frustration and the loss of your joy by not knowing the Holy Spirit as deep as you could and operating in all the gifts/fruits of the Spirit available to you. By not leading you rightly and wonderfully to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit they keep you from knowing God as He intended and they serve the "Liar" by keeping you stuck and ineffective. Please, please do not be misled by all the glitz and big entertainment that is Mariners Church Irvine. They are not giving you all of the tools nor are they living rightly in what they are preaching. Mariners Church Irvine is a spiritual trap; a quagmire of futility!

If your desire is to find a loving spouse and live the rest of your days in a committed, supportive relationship you need to start with yourself. You must be what you seek. You need to begin your healing and restorative process to get your heart back to whole, healthy and in Christ before you jump into a relationship or you are doomed to relive those past mistakes again and not have the tools in place to overcome those relational obstacles. If you have never been married, then you need to overcome those things that have held you back so far. Get yourself at back to at least a normal healthy heart, but wouldn't be even more wonderful to press on and meet your spouse as you are soaring in your God given identity in Christ!

Mariners Church Irvine and the current singles pastor talk about "community" which is church speak for, "We have no idea what to do with you". They have no idea what you need or how to help you find the deep healing you seek nor are they equipped to build you up to a powerful disciple in Christ. You should look elsewhere for help and support. Do not tithe there, but rather find a congregation that does understand you and will work with you as a single. If you are in Orange County California, OC Singles for Christ might be a good place to start for a healthy singles community and to find other local resources in Orange County, California. They would be more effective with your tithe too.